The BFG - Shared writing
LI: Use powerful verbs
SC:
- highlight the verbs
- see which verbs can be made more interesting/powerful
- edit the paragraph
- read the paragraph aloud to see how powerful it is
SUDDENLY SHE FROZE...
She couldn't move her eyes away. She kept looking forwards to get a better view. She quickly drew her head back from the window, inside her room. She ran back and hid under the covers. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She waited for a bit to make sure the monster would disappear.
She couldn't avert her eyes away. She kept edging forwards to get a better view. She quickly snapped her head back from the window, inside her room. She stumbled back and dove under the covers. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She held her breath and waited in suspense for a bit to make sure the monster would disappear.
BFG Writing
ReplyDeleteSuddenly she froze…..
She stared intently out of her window. Her eyes combming the sinister alleyways for the creature she had just seconds ago, caught a glimpse of. Her instincts surrendered to her mind as she retreated back to the curtains clutches, quivering in fear. A piercing shriek was drawn from her mouth while she stumbled aimlessly to her bed and unintentionally started strangling her duvet. From the edge of the dormitory you could hear the muffled whimpers consumed by the pile of bedsheets.
Aislinn
What excellent powerful verbs Aislinn!
Delete